Change

Here’s one of my songs, Cancri, which my band is practicing. This was recorded back in April, it has been awhile since I video logged my progress.

Things have been changing with my life. External factors have put me in a spot which makes me embrace a new look at the next few months which I should have seen coming for awhile. Well, actually I did, just did not expect this change to come so soon. I vaguely recall this phrase that it is that moment you are afraid to jump, that you should. Well I guess this is it.

I’ve only spoken this to my family and 4 other people. I do not want to speak about this so openly. It is not because it is something I should feel ashamed of or anything. I will just dread the barrage of currently unanswerable questions thrown at me from all directions. So unless I am clear and certain of my near future, I will not discuss it so openly.

But yeah, change. Change is a bitch, but change is necessary.

I met Zheng Yi for dinner today and I told him about it, and I told him how fast we were growing up and changing, whether we realized it or not. I told him that if this thing had happened, this forceful change, 3-4 months ago, my reaction will totally be different as compared to now. This isn’t even about what I would have done 5 years ago, or a year ago, as compared to now. It has only been a few months and that is enough for my perspectives to evolve. In his words, we are all ‘adult-ing’.

Heh I guess so, kinda hated that term, but he has a point.

Here’s a picture from last Tuesday. Stephanie came to Singapore and of course the uni mates met up for supper. Good to have catch ups with the guys and with Logen one last time before he flies back to Tassie for the final sem, and some catch up talks with Annabelle in the car as well. I always believe there will be friends who are close during a period of your life, but not at other times. That’s because they are just ‘friends of convenience’. Stuck in Tassie and you know this guy who seems okay, yeah sure friendships are made and we can be tight, but it will be like nothing once this chapter of our live closes. Met someone on first day in school and became good buddies? That’s cool! But can we say that they are as close during the following few months? Not necessarily. But then there are these friends like Logen, Annabelle and Naz, just to name a few, whom I know are always there, and vice versa.

Change is the only constant, but if we can grow up and change together, that ain’t so bad as well.

Passion’s Grace – New Logo

What defines Passion’s Grace?

1. Music – I started solo writing and recording in 2009. Crystal, who has been assisting me til this very day, sang on my very first song, A Twist in the Future. It was there and then that the name Passion’s Grace was born. It was there and then that the rest of my music came with this identity of mine.
2. Photography – I started out portraiture the year after in 2010. Passion’s Grace was beginning to me more of an art alias of me. So why not link it to my photography as well?
3. Emotions – My music and photography were not just created for fun. They were created during one of my darkest periods of my life so far. I used these mediums to channel out the emotions within me. I felt proud of myself writing these depressive works of art, no matter how good or bad the quality. It gave me satisfaction, it brought my self-esteem up a little – pumping out these pieces with emotions tagged along to it. So if you ask me why my music tends to be sad, this is why.
4. Honesty – there is no mumbo jumbo with my works. It is raw, as you can see from my portraits, it does not hide any messages, as you can hear from my music. I am always not afraid to tell you their true meaning if you asked. If you want to know who I really am, you can get hints and glimpses through my art pieces.
5. Mood & Experience – I lumped these 2 together cos they are roughly the same. I don’t want you to just listen to my music and go, oh yeah it is nice. I want you to absorb its meaning, drown in its intensity, soar into your sandcastles in the air. I want you to feel, and experience the songs and photos.
6. Melancholic – They may be charged with emotions, but ultimately, there is just one feeling that remains after the experience. That is melancholy. A very simple feeling yet so complex. You feel empty, but you aren’t exactly empty inside. You feel so light, you cannot grasp onto anything in your head

These are the elements which makes Passion’s Grace. Some of them have been achieved, some not yet, some getting there. But this is me. And I humbly present to you my music and photography with a new look.

June Recap

Hi Miss Rachael Yamagata, how ya doing? 🙂 It was a lovely concert and I had no regrets rushing from work to catch it.

Rare catch up with the best friend.

Singapore Coffee Festival!!! Was crowded as hell but it was fun and worth it. 😀

I’ve gotten myself the new Samsung S7 Edge! Here’s my first upload from it.

I made a lame joke about heavy metal fans and got 75 likes on Facebook. What even.

Here’s one from last month. Behind the scenes selfie with the fav friend Annabelle during our shoot. :3

Sweet Surrender

I think the month of May is really quite a coincidental month. On 1st May 2014 the abandoned crew, Logen, Ashrul, Annabelle and I went to Gormanston, a ghost town in Tasmania. On 2nd May 2016, 2 years and 1 day after Gormanston, I went to Braddell-Westlake, the abandoned school in Singapore as shown in the post below.

On 14th May 2014, I did a photoshoot with Annabelle at the Cataract Gorge.

On 14th May 2016, I did a photoshoot with Annabelle at my other apartment in Pasir Ris.

Honestly when Annabelle and I started this whole thing, it was at the abandoned asylum in Hobart and we kind of just kicked off from there. We always had the rather dark tones to the photos with the abandoned desolate feel. She had the gaze and expression to do it and I had the natural style of getting those moods. Doing this recent one was quite a challenge as we decided to go for a more classy indoor shoot, quite reminiscent of what Korean editorials, or even Thai editorials, show these days. We kept subconciously reverting back to the overly serious tones and we had to constanctly keep ourselves in check. Annabelle and I regularly looked up online for references and different poses as well throughout the shoot to keep things refreshing. I have to say I am quite pleased with the overall result, especially having not shot her since 2014.

That being said, I am quite glad that I did not shoot her for almost 2 years. It gave me the time and space to grow as a photographer and better myself. No point taking so regularly that they all look the same. I guess the same goes for Namie, having taken her in 2014 and 2016 as well with the 2 year gap.

So once again, I still believe Annabelle is the person I work with the best when it comes to portraitures and I hope the photos below will justify that. Enjoy.

Sweet Surrender, 14/5/2016. Model: Annabelle Lee

Unfamiliar Spirits

Took a couple of photos this month so far. Okay actually just 2 sets, but 2 pretty good sets. Here’s the first one, at Braddell-Westlake (abandoned) school. Went to survey the area with Guanwen hoping to find a good future photoshoot spot. It turned out to be a really nice walk through history with Guanwen telling me its history since he was there wil Primary 3 when it closed down.

Hope you guys like it.

Unfamiliar Spirits, 2/5/2016

Penang/#amirsyaz

Congrats Amir and Syaz again on your marriage again! So nice to see you two again. It was really nice to see old faces as well, Lei Kuan, AJ, Saiful, Lego, Bryan, Zhen Yi and even fellow Singaporean Ashrul.

Also, thanks Zhen Yi and Lego for your hospitality, being with you guys makes me feel less of a tourist and I was able to just go with the flow easily. Thanks Zhen Yi for having me over to stay. Missing those nights when all 4 of us would sing to Ylvis lol.

It was a really good and memorable catch up with everyone. Have not seen a lot of them for more than a year as well. Happy days.

Difference

Because the difference is that my days will be empty without you, but your days pass by like any other day without me.

Constant

Met the favourite friend for dinner today and had a good catch up. Times might have changed and things go up and down. People come, people go, emotions rise and fall. Still, I’m glad some things remain the same. Outings with the fav friend never let me down.

Singapore Photography

How To Measure A Planet? 16/10/2011. Fusionopolis, Singapore

Empty Horizon, 11/12/2011. Harbourfront, Singapore

When Light Will Dawn, 23/9/2012. Fort Canning Park, Singapore.

When Light Will Dawn, 23/9/2012. Clarke Quay, Singapore.

Kingdom, 23/10/2012. Pearl’s Centre, Singapore.

As The Earth Below Lies August, 16/2/2013. Marina Bay Sands, Singapore

Hope, 25/5/2013. Gardens By The Bay, Singapore

Wandering, 15/6/2013. Lower Seletar Reservoir, Singapore

Aeon, 15/6/2013. Lower Pierce Reservoir

Red Silence Lodge, 14/9/2015. Chinatown, Singapore

Go Slow

What makes a good day?

Well firstly, what is a good day? A good day to me is a day when you had so much fun and joyous memories, you think back to that day very often and still laugh at the little bits of humour sprinkled throughout the day.

It’s pretty rare, but what makes a good day to me is usually just a friend, hanging out with me, for the day, with no other plans. Of course we don’t literally meet from early morning to late at night, well that is rare. But just going about our day and chilling without any plans later in the day affecting us really makes the day more magical.

It was really rare, but Namie had an entire day off and she spent it with me. She twisted her ankle and was in crutches and was on MC, but she was already free for the day prior to her mishap. Obviously, we agreed on a simple but fun photoshoot. Heading to Pearl’s Centre’s carpark, we enjoyed a good two hours focused on our shoot with hardly anyone around hindering. We previously did our shoot at the Lower Pierce Reservoir and while it was a nice naturish landscape, there were quite a few people having their walks as well.

I have to admit that our shoots was one of my best. Straight to the point with a rough concept in mind, good chemistry and good precedent studies helped a lot. I visited Pearl’s Centre before with a friend so I had a good feel of the place and knew what I wanted to do, and boy did I execute my plans pretty well.

Having no rush, we could take our time with lunch and coffee later. She’s the crazy egg tofu friend as well. We’re always sending each other pictures of egg tofu whenever we eat them and get so excited over it. Hence, no prized for guessing what we had for lunch.

This is why I appreciate such good days. Just a whole day dedicated to someone, absorbing the person’s personality and sharing good personal jokes and memories. Such days don’t come often. Melbourne with Isabel was great, lunch and music recording with Crystal last year was smooth as well. Cataract Gorge with Annabelle was pretty memorable too with polaroids as memories.

Omg I just realized they are all with girls lol. Friends pointed out that I always hang out with pretty girls. Is it true? I honestly hang out with the bros more often, just that I don’t exactly document the bullshit we talk about incessantly.

I still think about this outing with Namie with a smile. I may have a few close friends, but boy do I treasure them.

Anyway, presenting to you my newest photoset, Go Slow.

And the out-takes.

What do you think of the photos, guys? Which one do you think is the best?

“Go slow
I wanna hear the floorboards squeak
And I go slow
I wanna fill the space between
If you’re giving what you’re giving to me
Feeling like a new machine
And if you’re living how you’re living for me
I wanna hear the floorboards squeak”

Tei Shi, Go Slow