こんばんは～

Lol.

I’m glad I didn’t delete this shit page of a blog.

Now playing: West Coast – Lana Del Rey

Mood: Pretty alright

Archi-mood: AWOL

I miss jamming. I’m most probably working with Glen who is currently in Sydney and Han who is still in Singapore for my next song, which is an Alcest cover. It’s always nice, isn’t it? Making music with people overseas. I remember how Namie recorded her vocals while she was still in Singapore and sent them over to me in Tassie last year. That was quite something lol.

Winter is coming in Tassie. I love winters. It sets such wonderful and enthralling landscapes. So beautiful, it hurts inside. Kinda reminds me of the Ben Lomond trip last year with the guys.

“You are the mad
That doesn’t leave
You are the cold of the rain
You are the only thing I can breathe
You are the dust of my death.”
– Dust, Lethian Dreams.

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These Mournful Years Will Live To Die

I wrote this song back in 2010-2011 over a stretch of a couple of months. While it mainly talks about a love that never exists, I guess some of the lyrics can be seen in other ways as well.

I went to bed last night thinking:
– Andrew has passed away, he was turning 25 this year.
– Averia has passed away, she was turning 25 this year.
– Joey told me of how her friend passed away in her sleep while she was just 20 years old.

When I wrote this song, it was during my time of depression with suicidal tendencies. I used music and photography to channel these negative emotions out. Back then, I was looking forward to death and how it would end my torments. Fast forward to present day, I am still no great blind optimist, but I live my life with some form of intent now. Yet still, I do not fear death. What I fear is dying without knowing that I am going to die, ie. to die in my sleep. I need closure in my life, I need to chance to say certain words to certain people. And right at that moment, I feared that my slumber I was going to fall into would be my last. Of course, I couldn’t sleep, though I eventually did, lol.

I woke up the next morning with news that Mr Lee Kuan Yew had passed away.

I know I would never be able to contribute so great a sacrifice for my nation, no, not even a quarter of it. He lived with purpose.

I am not. Not yet.

From a fellow Singaporean by blood to you, Rest in Peace Mr Lee.

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Alive

Apparently someone just followed me on WordPress. I’m surprised people still visit this blog.

I’m still alive, though some friends around me have passed away. While I wasn’t particularly very close to them, it scares me how I can so easily lose my loved ones in a blink of an eye. Not really my family, but, her.

So yeah, I’m still alive and just holding on.

I’m not sure if I miss Singapore or not. The people yes, but Singapore itself, not to sure. It was just as I told Kuay Yee a month ago, in Tasmania, the nature makes the place. Back home, the people make the place.

Here’s some portraits and some ‘behind the scenes’ of some shoots.

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