Drowning My Sorrows
Hardly talked to them today though i tried to.Also i stayed in school for a very short while too.I’m juz feelin very numb rite now.I’m goin to dwell in my music world for quite awhile,isolating myself from most people like my group of friends,for awhile.Just until i feel better or she makes me feel better.And really betta,not telling me one thing but showing otherwise.
Hung out wif different group of frens today.Makaned in school with Keat Ling,Samuel and Jun Jie.Had a really enjoyable chat with Keat Ling as usual.Then went to site with Samuel,Lezlie and Stefan.Got friggin drenched in the rain,but i’m not complaining.Samuel and i went to Bukit Gombak for bowling and lunch.Yupz juz us two.No other ppl.No Zuhuai,Cheryl,Brandon,Winson,Lay Yong.Had a realli enjoyable time and had a good laugh at Samuel’s bowling antics.
Went to Bishan walk walk alone and play BishiBashi and Outrun2 alone.Dat onli happens when i’m sad.After off to church for memorial mass thingo with combines choir.Ryan,Desmond,Stacie,Angie were there.Shaun,Amelia Dizon and her twin,Ivan,Marianne were there too.Sang okay lahz i thought.Oh wellz.I’m so tired,i’m juz gonna post a few lyrics which kinda reflects or suits my mood during today and ytd evening.These songs and In Black And White and 4000 Rainy Nights by Sonata Arctica and Stratovarius respectively.Yea.So if she reads this entry,some of da lines are actually directing towards her.
Toodles.
Paid In Full Sonata Arctica
I was nowhere near ready when all it ended
So I hoped we could find a new day, cannot live without you
You gave me the chance, time and again, in vain
Now my feelings for you, every tear, every smile, paid in full
Break the chain, but no longer can I take the pain
It’s hard for me to love myself right now,
I’ve waited, hated, blamed it all on you
Needed to be strong, yet I was always too weak
So I can only blame myself for this state we are in
I will take what you have for me now, if it’s not too late
Did you change? I did too. Love can grow from the last grain
It’s hard for me to love myself right now,
I’ve waited, hated, blamed it all on…
You…
I need you…less and less…
Every day feeds this moral decay
Yet I have grown to love you even more
I fall back, and I turn another cheek.
You mouth the words you’re not ready to speak
You’re scared of me now; no I never had a clue
That I’d become so much stronger than you.
I will take – what you have – for me now, if it’s not too late
If you like, I will leave; I will not miss the last train again
It’s hard for me to love myself right now,
I’ve waited, hated, blamed it all on you…
It’s hard for me to love your face right now
I’m waiting, hating, needing being
Me…
I need you…less and less…
Every day leads us farther away…
From that moment
It hard for me to hate myself right now
Finally I understand me
One day we may have a new me and you
But first I need to learn to love me too….
Space Dye Vest Dream Theater
Falling through pages of Martens on angels
Feeling my heart pull west
I saw the future dressed as a stranger
love in a space-dye vest
Love is an act of blood and I’m bleeding
a pool in the shape of a heart
Beauty projection in the reflection
Always the worst way to start
[Sample is Julian Sands from the film "A Room With A View".]
"But he’s the sort who can’t know
anyone intimately, least of all a
woman. He doesn’t know what a woman
is. He wants you for a possession,
something to look at like a painting or an ivory box.
Something to own and to display. He doesn’t want you to be real,
or to think or to live. He doesn’t love you, but I love you.
I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and
feelings, even when
I hold you in my arms. It’s our last chance… It’s our
last chance…"
Now that you’re gone I’m trying to take it
Learning to swallow the rage
Found a new girl I think we can make it
as long as she stays on the page
This is not how I want it to end
And I’ll never be open again
[Sample from "The Trouble With Evan", from the Canadian series "The Fifth Estate".]
"…I was gonna move out…ummm…get,
get a job, get my own place, ummm,
but… I go into the mall where I
want to work and they tell me, I’m,
I was too young…"
[Sample is Jim Hill from a news commentary about the OJ Simpson freeway chase.]
"Some people, gave advice before,
about facing the facts, about
facing reality. And this is, this
without a doubt, is his biggest
challenge ever. He’s going to have to face it.
You’re gonna have to try, he’s gonna to have to try and,
uh, and, and, and get some help here. I mean no one can
say they know how he feels."
[Sample from the Conan O’Brien show.]
"That, so they say that, in ya know
like, Houston or something, you’d
say it’s a hundred and eighty degrees,
but it’s a dry heat.
In Houston they say that?
Oh, maybe not. I’m all mixed up.
Dry until they hit the swimming pool."
[Sample from "The Trouble With Evan", from the Canadian series "The Fifth Estate".]
"…I get up with the sun… Listen.
You have your own room to sleep in,
I don’t care what you do. I don’t
care when. That door gets locked,
that door gets locked at night by nine o’clock.
If you’re not in this house by nine o’clock, then you’d
better find some
place to sleep. Because you’re not going to be a bum in
this house.
Supper is ready…"
There’s no one to take my blame
if they wanted to
There’s nothing to keep me sane
and it’s all the same to you
There’s nowhere to set my aim
so I’m everywhere
Never come near me again
do you really think I need you
I’ll never be open again, I could never be open again.
I’ll never be open again, I could never be open again.
And I’ll smile and I’ll learn to pretend
And I’ll never be open again
And I’ll have no more dreams to defend
And I’ll never be open again
It Won’t Fade Sonata Arctica
You borrow the moment, betray your own heavens
The darkness is thickening, breathing gets harder
The balance is off, some take more than give back,
the attitude, ignorance, proved to be fatal
for that tiny spark that led our way
you poisoned the air, should you stay away, hence
Wish to be one of us, follow the trail
Take the time offered, don’t toss it away
travesty, no trial, defendant is guilty
and we are the judges and sentence the jury
to pay for forgiveness with silent contentment
Stand in the line with the rest of us
We cannot carry you further today
hear what you don’t say, thus help… in any way
Need you to learn how to cry without darkness
Face like the others the pain that is harmless
Feel the world has let you down
somehow, we cannot see this
Have to bear the winterburn
You can only wait, if it will fade with time
Secrecy, silence, a stench of treason
the glow of the darkness, you brought in the daylight
The cure will not kill you, there’s no such mercy.
rules of the nature are fair and cruel…
we cannot wait for you, for limbo, forever
don’t make us walk away, packs stay together
Fear would be justified. Will be there soon.
The things that you do will infect us too
Feel the world has let you down
somehow, we cannot see this
Have to bear the winterburn
You can only wait, if it will fade with time
Where’s your trust, where’s your heart, where’s your soul?
Who’s your friend? Who’ll be there in the end?
Who do you call a friend…
should we start to bewail?
a lot of things are changing
and re-arranging
I have to say I saw it coming
yet did nothing…
In the darkest of times
B.o.B’s earn the right for the name
Not all shared the idea to give you the chance to
fail us again, to bite off
the feeding hand…
counting one, two…see?
odds defying the gravity…
we’ll move along, well fed puppy…
you are too confident and careless to cut it
had no rules, that is to change
or you’ll forever run alone
but you never will, the little child of the wild
you’ve got a skin, gray coat, they hate
no, you cannot hide behind your glowing eyes
you bear the sign and it won’t fade
Feel the world has let you down
somehow, we cannot see this
Have to bear the winterburn
You can only wait if it will fade with time
Rough Draft Yellowcard
1-2-3-4
Like a Saturday night I’ll be gone
Like a Saturday night I’ll be gone
before you knew that I was there
So you wrote it down
I’m supposed to care
Even though it’s never there
Sorry if I’m not prepared
Is it hard to see the things you substitute
For me and all my thoughts of you
It’s eating me alive to leave you
Maybe it’s childish and maybe it’s wrong
But so is your blank stare in lieu of this song
Maybe it’s childish and maybe it’s wrong
Don’t wanna be, don’t wanna be wrong
You’re leaving me, you’re leaving me in lieu of this song
Don’t wanna be, don’t wanna be wrong
You’re leaving me, you’re leaving me in lieu of this song
I’m breathing in your skin tonight
Quiet is my loudest cry
Wouldn’t wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside
And if it’s healthier to leave you be
may a sickness come and set me free
Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me
I’m finding my own words, my own little stage
my own epic drama, my own scripted page
I’ll send you the rough draft, I’ll seal it with tears
Maybe you’ll read it and I’ll reappear
From the start it was shaky and the characters rash,
A nice setting for heartache where emotions come last
All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire
are friendly intentions and fair-weather smiles
And I don’t wanna be, don’t wanna be wrong
you’re leaving me, you’re leaving me in lieu of this song
Don’t wanna be, don’t wanna be wrong
You’re leaving me, you’re leaving me in lieu of this song
Like Saturday night I’ll be gone
Like Saturday night I’ll be gone
Like Saturday night I’ll be gone
Like Saturday night I’ll be gone before you knew that I was there
Ocean Soul Nightwish
One more night
To bear this nightmare
What more do I have to say
Crying for me was never worth a tear
My lonely soul is only filled with fear
Long hours of loneliness
Between me and the sea
Losing emotion
Finding devotion
Should I dress in white and search the sea
As I always wished to be – one with the waves
Ocean Soul
Walking the tideline
I hear your name
Is angels wispering
Something so beautiful it hurts
I only wished to become something beautiful
Through my music, through my silent devotion
For The Sake Of Revenge Sonata Arctica
We have been stuck in here a day, seeking
Answers for all eternity, or something
Hear the meaning, speaking in me
Have faith in me, have faith in me…
I cannot say that I am fine
And take all you say at face value
I’ve talked to you more than I have…
Have faith in me, have faith in me…
I’ve talked too much today
You don’t trust me
So I keep on talking in every way.
Across the sea I hear you calling me
For the sake of revenge you command me
This ain’t over, no it’s never over
´till the fat lady sings, you love me
I’m tired, yet I am swimming
You will not let go of me, you are drowning
As you’re quietly pulling me under
We will never make it unless you let go…
There’s no crime, yet I stand accused
And I… see the solution naked before me.
You reduced me to a weapon, unlike you
Have faith in me, have faith in me…
I cannot hear, though I incline my ear, why do I even try…
I’ve told you all ’bout what I am
Have faith in me, have faith in me…
I’m feeling weak today
Please, don’t crush me
I keep on walking, far away.
I keep on crawling, all in vain
I am feeling slow today
So don’t rush me
We live this wretched serenade
You keep me playing, anyway…
Across the sea I hear you calling me
For the sake of revenge you will command me
This ain’t over, it’s never over
´till the fat lady sings, you love me
I’m so tired, yet keep on swimming
You will not let go of me, you’re drowning
Now you’re quietly pulling me under
Oh so quietly pulling me under…
Adam 