Cookie/Tests/Mature/Optimistic

Cookie

Dearest Cookie,

 

Thanks for all the concern.Seriously,i’m damn touched.No one ever did such a thing before as to dedicate a blog entry to me.Wah,damn touched.Thanks thanks!I’m feeling better now,though not fully happy wee wee yet.It’s okay that you’re not online so often lah haha.You should be studying anyway.You psalming next Saturday right?I can’t be there!Hope you sing well! 😀

 

Love love,

Cookie

 

Tests

My final tests in poly are OVER.Damn difficult i tell you.Especially MAT.Barely finished.You ask Keat Ling,i was really scribbling all the annotations on the paper damn fast.Any faster,the paper would catch fire.

 

I guess AP and ES was okay.Only problem for ES was of course the RTTV.I honestly had no problem with it,but everyone was stressing so much about it,i think i did it wrong! D: Talk about peer pressure.Sheesh.

 

ADS was tough too.Ah,they were all tough.And all the papers smelt of bar soap.

 

Mature

I don’t really do this anymore,but i’m seriously in LOVE with this photo.No nudity of course,but i trust you are still mature for such a nice photo.

 

Frickin love it.I love how they aren’t really ‘posing’.I have a thing for bare backs too (other than corsets),so this one really got it spot on.I like it that they aren’t wearing shoes too.It’s sad that Singapore is too much of a conservative country.It’s good being like that,but it guess it’s just abit too much here.Oh well,still a very fine picture indeed.It’s currently my phone wallpaper,hope i don’t get too much uneasy response.Keywords:too much.

 

Optimistic

I shall end off with a quote from Crystal’s blog.

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"I wish some things could just be frozen in time, or stay the way that they are; Keep the good, get rid of the bad.

But that’s possible if you see things from a certain perspective, right?

Optimism? Or is it consciously making an effort to see the good side of dull things?

I can make an effort to see the good side of something dull. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t miss how things were or could have been."

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Toodles.

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The Necessary Silence

The Necessary Silence

 

It’s been 8 days since we spoke.It’s the longest ever.Even before we got that close,we still spoke quite frequently.It hurts,but it is necessary.

 

The pictures above were just a few photos i took a few days ago under the theme ‘The Necessary Silence’,based on what’s happening in my life now.

 

Met up with Cheryl for lunch yesterday.Cheryl Anne Lim,not Cheryl Gien,nor Cheryl Chee,nor any other Cheryls i know.What a common name,yet every Cheryl is so different and unique.Wow.Anyway,we had pepper lunch before we went roaming around the basements of Ion.Damn big sia.Crazy shit.

 

Chinese New Year Day1 today!Same old traditional stuffs.Heh.It’s still great lah,meeting up with relatives (and getting ang paos heh heh).Grandma’s carrot cake is still frickin good.So are her new year goodies!Played L4D2 with the guy cousins today as well.Played abit of Wii,and a lot of contemplation.

 

Day2 tomorrow.I think i’ll be able to talk to Fabian and Sherry more tomorrow.Today was such a rush for all of us.

 

Lazy to upload today’s pics.So i shall leave you with yesterday’s pics.Hope you like them.

 

And will i see you on Wednesday?

 

 

Sometimes I touch the things you used to touch, looking for echoes of your fingers.

Toodles.

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The Place Where You Get Off/Forgiven

The Place Where You Get Off

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Outside the station, she stands with her child on the side of the street, taking pictures of cars.

You think she’s insane. Until, one day, you notice that she’s taking pictures of the license plates of the cars her child gets into.

Because you look. But you do not see.

And she walks out the shop with bags full of cat food. You think she’s some crazy cat lady until you find out, she has no cats.

Because you eat. But you do not taste.

It’s been a while since their last album but he assures you, he’s doing just fine these days, white flecks in his nostrils. Then he asks you if he can spend the night on your couch, even though it stinks.

Because you sniff. But you do not smell.

And they say "Just OK" when you ask them how school was. Then you wonder what they’re hiding until you find their diary and the last entry reads "I wish you’d give me some privacy."

Because you listen. But you do not hear.

And they’ve got a bruise over their eye and you run the tips of your fingers over it and ask them how it happened. You believe them. Until it happens again.

Because you touch. But you do not feel.

And they walk past you everyday, one million stories, each waiting to be told. Waiting for you to ask.

Because you live. But very few, love.

 

Forgiven

She may have forgiven me,but i have not forgiven myself.Yes,i have not learnt how to forgive myself.

 

So i admit i’ve been really harsh on myself.It’s eating into me.No appetite til the point of extreme hunger before eating something.Losing focus in school,church,everywhere.Forgetting how to smile and laugh sincerely.Yes,i have been hard on myself.

 

Because i’m giving her time,and giving mysellf time.And it’s time that is biting my skin really hard.Because you may have forgiven me,but your behavoir shows otherwise.I can’t blame you for that either.I don’t deserve anything from you,nor you yourself,either.

 

Toodles.

 

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Love

Love

"It was true. I love you as a friend."

 

That was all i needed to be at peace.Thank you.Let’s make a clean start from here again.

 

6 more days to submission,most crampped JC ever,but with a more focused mind,i really believe i can do it.I’ll do it not only for me,but for the friends who have been with me these days as well.For you.Mou,Julian,Isabel :D,Nicole,Samantha Lim,Terrence and of course,Geri.

 

7 years ago,a cathechist by the name of Greg Krygsman taught me in his 1st ever cat class with me : God does not make junk.

 

He really doesn’t.

 

I’m ready to fight the fight.Will you fight it,side by side,with me?

 

 

Toodles.

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