Lezlie lent me his Nion D40. That was probably the highlight of my week, other than me finishing another song of mine and that it already has a dislike on Youtube – how demoralizing.
Letting my music get heard is hard, and tiring. These Mournful Years had a pretty good response internally, but no exposure other than my friends. Lacerations however, even struggles to get listeners internally, let alone useful comments.
Why am I always wrong? Why is it that I am suffering, you made me this way, and I just let loose about it, and it still appears I am in the wrong. Is it always my fault that I feel this way?
I tried to help you. I wanted you to smile. I offered both my hands to you so many times. I never wanted you to open up to me totally, I never wanted to break you open. I just wanted to brighten your life. You however, stood like a rock with the stubborness of a mountain. You lost that spark in your life and it honestly made me sad. And now that you’ve found her, you’re happier, you just act as if I never existed. Your words and their hidden meanings to me are harsher than ever. I wanted to grow you into a rose, yet you made me seem like a weed in your life.
My senseless soul pleading
Lacerations burning
My dead eyes bleeding
This carrion life ending
Adam 