Of The Tired City And Holland Village

Of The Tired City And Holland Village

Ok sad as it is,i find this true in a sense.The cold cold world we’re living in right now.

 

Cold as the world might me,today was a really hot hot day.School was pretty alright.A lecture which left me confused at times (A week has 9days?A sphere is actually either a cone or a cylinder?Transparent trees?!) and tutorial was pretty okay.Went to research on other mosques to compare with our cast study which is the Sultan Mosque.

 

I went to meet Stacie for lunch at Holland V.We then went to Cold Rock for a few good hours.I think overall we talked alot and we kinda dwelled on choir,old and new and the differences and other stuffs.It was really good talking to her again finally after about 8 months of not going out with her.We miss the old days.Please come back,old days.

 

Paid her family a visit and Snuffy licked my arms and face all over again.Had popcorn chicken and had a nice chat with her parents.Stacie and her family never fail to cheer me up.=)

 

Thanks for lunch,Stacie!Lunch/dinner on me next time!

 

 

Toodles.

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2nd Week

2nd Week

Vibeke Stene!!!!! 😀 This is my school wallpaper lol

 

2nd Week and i have nothing much to do!!We’re doing a case study at Sultan Mosque which we went last Thursday.A pretty interesting place.We could not enter the main prayer hall,but it’s okay lah.No big deal i guess.

 

Friday night with Zheng Yi and Edwin Thia was pretty fun.Just random talking of nonsense and what-nots.Bukit Timah market for dinner as usual and this time we paid a visit to Island Creamery after that.Pretty fun and all.

 

Here’s pic of the night!

 

Saturday night was fun actually.Nicole Siew offered me a ride to supper at Casuarina Prata.So i got into the front passenger seat and instantly she FLUNG her handbag at me and was like ‘Hold for me!’ and i was like -.- so typical of her lol.

 

The funny and scary part was along Upper Thomson Road where we were on the right line trying to overtake Desmond who lifted the ppl who chose the safer driver.I think Nicole was trying to punk with him and got very close to him.Then all of a sudden she swevred her car back to the lane and we like were swerving left and right damn violently.I was like rooted to my seat clinging onto her handbag damn tightly lah!I thought we were gonna crash seriously.

 

The prata itself was good and the chatting was fun.BAN-DUNG!!!

 

Ok my lecturer is like walking around studio non-stop.Better stop here.Thanks Nicole for what u said last night.Toodles.

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Finale

Finale

It’s Wednesday in this 1st week of Architecture Year3.I have no GEMS but have a talk later,so i am blogging here to just let some time pass.

 

I’m currently listening to Ayreon’s Into The Electric Castle as a whole.Cosmic Fusion now,the Indian is going to die soon.One of the most chilling part of the entire album.Whoosh.

 

I don’t think anyone reads this anymore.I seem so faded among my friends now.I’m so un-noticed and it just seems i’m really a nobody.It’s like no one will be affected at all if i die,or just disappear.

 

I was browsing through someone’s photos on Facebook just now and felt weird and woomfy all over.This really has to end.

 

I took a few nice pics at the Botanic Gardens ytd during site visit.Our group then went Hot Tomato for lunch and Ben&Jerry’s for free cone day.Queued for 30mins,quite fast.

 

I feel so lethargic these days.I need to sleep early more before i burn myself out even before death can get to me.

 

I realized all my paragraphs start with I.

 

Indian just died.Chills down my spine man.

 

I really hope year3 will pass by smoothly.I’m not in the mood for school yet,which is worrying.I really want to get a GPA of at least 3.I am so disillusioned these days.I’m not sure if Architecture is what i want to do anymore.Everything in the world is just so manterialistic.I’m still feeling very down and all.I’m just so alone.I feel like quitting choir.There.I said it out loud.No one reads here anyway.I feel so distraught and anguished.Sigh.

 

I need to get back to my sketching.Toodles.

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Temporary

Temporary

I’m typing this during half time of the Chelsea vs Arsenal match.1-1 so far.Hope Chelsea wins.

 

Left4Dead with choir peeps.Had funs guys,thanks.It just removed all my worries temporarily.I had dinner with Geri and the few like Nicole Siew and Denise after mass.Wasn’t much to talk with Geri when there’s so many people at the dinner table.I really hope to speak soon.My mouth is exploding.And erm,take care Geri.I’m still worried and concerned.

 

Perhaps things would actually be better if i actually retained in year1.Maybe my GPA won’t be so shit now.Maybe there will be no uphill climb now.Lots of maybes,but it doesn’t matter.I’m in year3 on Monday and in a year’s time i’ll graduate and i really want a good GPA.I’m too tired to worry about myself.I kinda gave up on myself already lah.I don’t even know if i can get a good GPA anymore.Oh well.

 

My mind is very muddled right now.I really need to talk to someone,anyone.Hopefully you,or you.And you,my heart kinda stirs when i see you.ARGH.

 

2nd half is starting soon.I really hope all my worries will be cleared soon.Oh well.Sigh.

 

Toodles.

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Philophobia

Philophobia

This isn’t good.This isn’t good at all.

 

To make things worse,i think i like someone..OH SHIT ADAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

 

Adam cannot like anyone.

Adam cannot afford to.

Adam cannot afford to get hurt again.

Adam cannot like her of all people.

Adam does not want to deepen the mess that already exists.

Adam wants out.

Adam wants to wash off his feelings.

Adam knows this washing off will be much harder than previous experiences.

Adam wonders if you know who you are.

 

Oh well…..i need to cancel out this feeling once again.

 

Hmm,Adam is still worried about you.And yes,you know who you are.I know,but i can’t help worrying.Something isn’t right.Amongst other reasons,which requires me to talk to you again.

 

ARGH.

 

Toodles.

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Worried/Alone

Worried

I’m worried about you.You are very busy these days and i don’t know how well you are coping.I’m worried because something is not right.I’m worried cos i know alot more now and right now,i’m not the only one worried about you.

 

I’m worried about you.You can’t just switch off like that.You know it wil return one day.You can’t possibly switch off totally forever.I’m sure it has come to haunt you again.Really,please go for plan B.

 

Alone

That’s what i am.

 

Maybe it’s just fate that i should be alone.

 

I’m starting to get attracted to someone perhaps.ADAM WHAT ARE U DOING!!!!Stop loving,you can’t afford to.

 

 

Sigh.

 

Toodles.

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Awake/Preperation/Forever Failure

Awake

I just did the Marianne Chan and woke up uber early at 7 40am,was not able to go back to sleep,so i went on my laptop.

 

Anyway.

 

Thanks Geri for yesterday.You know much how it meant to me,especially whatever we said in 03-07.No thanks can ever express my gratitude.I still need to talk to you.I don’t know when,hopefully soon.Check your email too.

 

Preperation

I’m not in the mood to sing for Easter Vigil mass.I’m prepared for it,it’s just another Easter Vigil after all.It’s just very hard,to sing all these joyful Eastertide songs when i’m in a bad mood myself.It’s worse than just putting on my everyday smiling mask.It hurts even more.I wish i can opt out of it this year.Screw the Regina Coeli,they can do without me.

 

I’m such a failure.

 

F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F

F*

 

Toodles.

 

Forever Failure-Paradise Lost

You must feel frustration
Cause your mind feels such temptation
And your ways appear a total lack of faith

You may feel elation
At your body’s re-creation
And that joy you need, restricted by one thought

Are you forever – loss of purpose in a passive life
Are you forever – pale, regarded as a waste of time

High times are courageous
But in truth they suit no purpose
Induced, reduced, unable and afraid……

Can you feel rejection
And a lack of motivation
And the joy you need restricted and delayed

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Concern/Willows

Concern

From Crystal’s blog

"It seems like the more I care about something, the more upset I get if things don’t turn out well."

 

Thanks for all who tried helping me.I appreciate it.But sometimes,some of the problems must be dealt with myself.

 

My appetite has increased,but not my mood,nor my stamina and energy level.So weary.Just so weary.I overslept today even.

 

I’ve been getting weird dreams these days.Could they mean something?Whatever it is,i hope it’s not premonition.It’s so weird,i feel so shy telling people about them.Bleargh.

 

Take care guys.Toodles.

 

Willows-Adam Wesley Aw

On this day I lay to rest

My life is ending, my soul is wrought

Time has come to breathe my last

On these weeping willows, I’m coming home

 

Overwhelmed by lingering distraught

My faith lies dwindling, my heart is sore

Tender breeze upon my skin

On these weeping willows, my mind’s at rest

 

Everything I learnt

Everyone I loved

Every time I smile

Everything I believed in

The reasons were true

The seasons were blessed

 

Foundations of my life

Are they simply illusions?

With everything lost

My purpose – a delusion

 

My breath runs cold in this mighty storm

My hope lies dying, my dreams are crushed

Bequeath my life, bequeath my soul

On these weeping willows, I’m coming home

 

Withered and blue shall be the way I’ll be

My conscience fading, my smile is lost

On this day I’ll breathe my last

On these weeping willows, I’m coming home

 

The reasons were true

The seasons were blessed

The reasons were true

 

The reasons were pure

The seasons endured

The reasons were pure

 

On this day I’ll breathe my last

On these weeping willows, I’m coming home

Ah, this ever warming light

Father, it’s me

I’m coming home

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Love/Life

Love

kit. love is watching someone die. says:

you can’t attach yourself to someone so strongly..

you have to leave room for error

 

I don’t agree.Sorry,Kit.

 

Life

the ghost woman and the hunter. says:

life is a continuous battle lol

 

I think so too,Crystal.Just that i don’t know what exactly i’m battling these days.

 

Hello depression,do you miss me?Let’s have a good reunion together.It’s been 3-4 years eh.Let’s feast on sorrow,anguish and despair.

 

Toodles.

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Of Enthrall Masquerade And My Female Counterpart

Of Enthrall Masquerade And My Female Counterpart

So yesterday morning and afternoon was rather eventful.

 

Jamming with EM was pretty fun.Poppaea was good,beyond expectations.Kit tagged along too.We then went lunch and youth room where we slacked.Had a few awkward moments but i think i shall take whatever she told me about life seriously lah.Thanks.

 

Pictures!

 

Toodles.

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